Did you pick the right fight? 🥊

↩️UNFOLLOW University — May 5, 2023

Happy Friday!

Thanks for subscribing to this newsletter and taking the time to read, share and sometimes reply.

I started ↩️UNFOLLOW University because courageous leaders shouldn’t be rare and wholehearted leadership shouldn’t be unrealistic. I’ve played both sides. I’ve been a silent accomplice in organizations where conformity was the culture. I’ve also been a casualty of weak leadership.

When I misunderstand my role as a leader, I misuse my time and mislead my teams. This wasted effort, energy and creativity is not benign. Conformity has a cost.

Since launching in January, I’ve been humbled by the positive feedback and raw transparency I’ve received from others who want to succeed differently. Unfollowing the status quo requires us to release many of the trophies of the past to redefine what true success will be.

Today, I’m revisiting my very first thoughts on courage and re-introducing my goal for ↩️UNFOLLOW University to all the new subscribers.

Last year, I had the chance to listen to a lecture about courage from three of the world’s foremost experts on human psychology: my kids. 

I asked them, “What does courage mean?” Here’s what they had to say:

• “Courage is being strong and having faith. It’s from God’s love.”

• “Courage is when you have to be brave even when something might be scary.”

• “Courage is to have fear but to push through it.”

Clearly, their answers were better than mine at 4, 7 and 9 years of age. But their unpolished wisdom also pointed me to a radical truth.

🤯 Radical Truth

Courage is a contract with your future self.

Courage is a decision to pay the price for acting on your beliefs before you know the cost. Courage is an agreement to pick the right fights before you know how to win them. Courage is a contract.

Courage is a contract that protects 3 things:

1. Trust - It’s hard to let go of control but leading courageous change means building trust. 🤝

2. Health - It’s hard to embrace conflict but leading courageous change means recognizing what a healthy team looks like. 💊

3. Clarity - It’s hard to manage through uncertainty but leading courageous change means taking responsibility for vision clarity. 👓

You were courage-crafted from the beginning. We are born courageous, for to be born is itself a bold act of resistance. 

Courage has been there all along - in you, for you, with you. From playpens and playgrounds to classrooms and conference rooms, courage never died but it’s dormant. It’s springtime.

I’ve spent the last year studying, speaking and writing about courage. There are many definitions of courage from many intelligent people but here are my favorites.

• Speaking from our hearts. Learning how to be brave and afraid at the exact same time. Brene Brown

• Relevant acts done for a worthy cause despite significant risks perceivable in the moment. Jim Deteret

• Knowing when to be daring and when to be cautious. David Brooks

• Willingly facing hardship and danger. Ryan Holiday

• An inner resolution to go forward despite obstacles. The power of life to affirm itself in spite of life’s ambiguities. (MLK)

The word “courage” comes from the Latin word for “heart” and it refers to inner strength becoming outward actions.

Here’s how I define courage: Courage is the process of acting in love despite feelings of fear.

Yes, there’s always a cost. But it’s better to fight conformity (the opposite of courage) than surrender to it.

⚡️Courageous Question

If you win the fight you’re facing right now, who benefits? Who loses?

🗣 Wonderful Words

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
-Mark Twain

🙏🏽 Prayer Package

God, every day there are reasons to accept what seems unchangeable. Today, give me an opportunity to resist my own comfort so that someone else can be heard, seen or supported. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

📖 Matthew 14:27

🎵 Courageous by Common, PJ & Stevie Wonder

🛠 Practical Tool

A few recent posts on courageous leadership:

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Sign up for the ↩️Unfollow University newsletter

Every Friday I’ll send you 5 courageous ideas to help you redesign your work life by making better career decisions:

1. 🤯 Radical Truth - A story from me

2. ⚡️ Courageous Question - A challenge for you

3. 🗣 Wonderful Words - A quote worth remembering

4. 🙏🏽 Prayer Package - A moment of meditation

5. 🛠 Practical Tool - An actionable resource