Are you a Peacemaker or a Peacekeeper? ✌🏽
↩️UNFOLLOW University — September 29, 2023
Happy Friday!
Two weeks ago, our church hosted a men’s retreat where we asked a simple question one evening: Are you a peacekeeper or a peacemaker?
As we reflected on our own tendencies, it became clear that making peace and keeping it are two very different mindsets.
Peacekeepers avoid conflict at all costs. Peacemakers enter into conflict with confidence.
Peacekeepers keep problems out of sight and out of mind. Peacemakers accept responsibility for wrongs and resolution.
Peacekeepers pursue artificial peace and allow wrongs to worsen. Peacemakers honor their Creator by pursuing what’s right.
The video lesson was moderated by author and pastor, Derwin Gray. Derwin is on an embarrassingly short list of American pastors actually leading multi-ethnic churches by diving head-first into the racial, political and social divisions of our day (his battle-tested resources are worth your time).
Derwin admits that being a peacemaker in a world filled with constant conflict and cancellations is hard, especially when we do it on our own. It’s only human to respond in silence, self-protection or anger, right?
But just because making peace is hard doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
How do you initiate peace, forgiveness and reconciliation without setting yourself up for more hurt? The same way we do every other hard thing - with hope.
Peace is a decision and hope is a process.
🤯 Radical Truth
The goal of healthy conflict is peace even when the process is painful.
Our biggest barrier to making peace is the fear of being hurt, misunderstood or even taken advantage of on the road to reconciliation. In the short term, we reason, it’s easier not to rock the boat.
Peacekeepers are like passengers on a cruise ship. They want things to be easy, predictable and carefree, even if it costs more than they realize. Working for a leader who is a peacekeeper is a never-ending game of hot potato. Expectations are low, excuses are high and ownership is non-existent.
Peacemakers are like sailors on a battleship. They contribute to authentic peace by facing the problems that threaten it. Working for a leader who is a peacemaker means ownership is clear, conflict is encouraged and consequences are communicated.
Ready to take one step towards being a peacemaker? Derwin shared some practical starting points:
Don’t blame the other person. Explain how you feel.
Talk to them face to face, not about them behind their back.
Be specific about how you feel.
Move positively towards the person you have a conflict with via prayer and hope.
Submit yourself to the goal of peace even when you don’t feel like being peaceful.
This applies even when you are the person who has wronged someone else. Hope doesn’t give hall passes.
Pursuing peace is one of the most courageous things you can do.
⚡️Courageous Question
Who do I need to initiate peace with? What’s one step I can take this weekend to move closer?
🗣 Wonderful Words
“Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict or avoiding difficult conversations. Sometimes, peacemaking looks like going to the cross. We enter into conflicts with hopes of reconciliation.”
🙏🏽 Prayer Package
God, making peace is hard, and entering conflict with hope seems hopeless. I know my identity as a peacemaker is not based on my own activity but on what you’ve already done. Let my obedience build bridges that lead back to you. Amen.
🎵 Peacemaker - Carlos Rising 🖤
🛠 Practical Tool
Seriously, answer the Courageous Question above. We all have at least one person who falls into one of these categories:
Someone you had/have a conflict with.
Someone you need to forgive.
Someone you need to ask for forgiveness.
Someone you need to initiate peace with.
Check out Derwin’s website for some really helpful ideas on seeking healing even when it’s hard.
Dr. Gray Derwin - Happy Are The Peacemakers
If you’re new to UNFOLLOW University you can learn more about me here or check out my previous posts.
See you next UNFOLLOW Friday!
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Every Friday I’ll send you 5 courageous ideas to help you redesign your work life by making better career decisions:
🤯 Radical Truth - A story from me
⚡️ Courageous Question - A challenge for you
🗣 Wonderful Words - A quote worth remembering
🙏🏽 Prayer Package - A moment of meditation
🛠 Practical Tool - An actionable resource
